An empty hall

A while ago I had an online conversation with a close friend. We always communicate online although I know we should do this in persons. We’re kinda close, at heart. He asked me what I was doing, and I said that I’m in the missing of someone. He laughed, and I was sad. I mumbled, it is painful to know that we could not meet a person because of the distance. He laughed harder, said that as long was we are still in the same world, don’t take anything for granted.

I stopped and thought. Now I have friends all over the various latitude and longitude, the numbers added up quite fast. When we were together, I hold their hands tight and smiled, knowing that the moment would finally arrive. And I really wish that I could fly my own jumbo jet to meet them again. This time, it would be in their home towns, where I could see their families, their university, their favorite restaurants and taste their favorite local beer brand. I know, that close friend of mine must be laughing again because he imagined this kind of thing before any of my single thoughts.

But what if, I don’t have the ticket to ride? So, those last times at the train station were the last time I saw their faces with my very eyes. What if, they would be transferred to the other world?

I gulped the air in my empty throat.

Another friend of mine comforted me. Also in an online conversation, so I could not see her gorgeous look and big eyes. She said, from the very start we must realize that all is temporary. The best is to let go. Or else, hold on to the moment. We finally agree to call our families and told them that we are fine at where we are. Just to keep them happy.

But no goodbye is easy. They said we should keep them in the heart. As if it is that simple. The hole is sometimes too wide to mend. I locked my self in the room, thinking hard to cope with this. No no, none present could replace other’s presence. And it hits me once again, right at the heart.

From my deepest condolescence.