Move Your Feet

Days have been flying recently. From GIS exam, Group Application Project until the result came out. From Sushi at Rotterdam, Vermeer in Delft until Batavia Werf in Lelystad. From spicy Tom Yam soup, brocoli with curry sauce, crunchy tempura wanna-be until delicious stuffed peppers. From overwhelmed ice skating, meditative swimming and competitive badminton. Not too mention the most favorite ride, bicycling here and there and everywhere.

I can not believe, it is almot three months. But the sympthoms thas has been happening to me are quite clear. I begin to miss everything that’s not here. Not every single thing, but each of them stroked me a bit hard. Stephen Chow movie accompanied by my brother or the way my father adjust his glasses. The sound of music box from my mother’s powder container and the sincere smile from my auntie’s face. I missed to may birthday, but I managed to join the wine surprise party with only voices.

The most pain-stakingly part in the heart was reading a touchy notes from a dear best friend. Everything seems so sweet, and I want to gulp them again like a cup of tea we used to have. At the same time, it tasted bitter, it probably quite a while until our next adventure together. Our dreams about riding miyo around java islands collide with the scene where we sit side by side on the airplane, which flies over this continent.

Well, apart from all the good things here, I decided to take a break. Of course the journey will be different without my best traveling buddy. I’m quite sure the ghost of her will be my my side, although she’s never been to Europe before.

Anyhow, I have to step my feet. Nowadays, it’s me who shout the command, not you or anybody else. Not even life stages.

The Tiger and the Snow

It was late at night, but we decided to go out. It is always great to be outdoor. The white sprinkles from the sky dropped on my head. I know my hair would be damped, but I just could not resist having it in my head. I didn’t know either if I have one or two in my eyelashes, and considered as nice things. The cold breezes blew mildly, but definitely it was still too cold for me. Gladly I wrapped tight by beautiful turquoise winter jacket and this unexplainable happiness wrapped my heart warmly.

It was good that I have waterproof shoes so I can step on the snow. The piled snow wasn’t too high, but still you could not trace my tracks. We goofed around like penguins. I stepped heavily on the snow to hear the sound which I love so much, crack crack crack. I can hear it clearly, but I feel like... flying.

winter came by my bedroom today

falling in rows and covering the lane

morning shone on my windows today

passing the time I slumber away

to kill all the day

someone came by my bedroom today

swaying around, then silently away

someone left home and my bedroom today

left by the time I slumbered away

to kill all the day

In The Afternoon – the Cardigans

Snow makes the winter worth living – a bestfriend, Q.

Cloudy Sky

In the afternoon I walked alone to the university and feel the breezy drizzling raindrops on my lips. It tasted, plain. My new pair of brown boots surely a waterproof, so I keep on walking anyway. It’s been extremely gloomy since this morning. I try to imagine my favorite Banda purplish sky but I guess it is not wise to compare one place to another. Nothing can replace what I miss, but nothing I can do anyway. In life, so many things come and go, sometimes it’s hard to hold on to some moments. I close my eyes and imagine that someday this will be the thing I miss. Crazy cloudy sky, I feel like an actress playing in a horror movie. I never felt like that before. Most of the time, I naively act as a teenage high school girl in her imaginative world. The girl who is freak, curious, sharp but in the same time very poetic. Sometimes she walks alone and pampers herself with her me-time. Sometimes she is just one of the crowds and satisfies to feel the friend inside her. But most of the time, she’s in love. Cheesy spontaneous love.

I'd catch some stars for you, and just for you
I'd paint the grey sky blue, and just for you
so don't tell me you want the rain, from a cloudy sky
to wash away the pain, that I've given you again
I've always tried to find, what satisfies your mind
but I will never know, where you are to go
but I want you to know, do you want a golden ring
I would buy you anything.

Cloudy Sky – The Cardigans

Bloody Blah Blah Blah

We have been struggling with the book. Actually, the content in it. I was up until 4 last night, tried hard to get everything into my head. Reading and learning are fun in someway, but understand things and stuff them inside your brain is another thing. We invented the terms bloody and virus and all the nasty things just to cheer us up, but still, this is something we have to go through.

It’s been years. And I remember so well those kinds of days. The sleepless nights and hopeless sight from my eyes. The way I prepared my best pen along with my must-have mechanical pencil. And after the day, I went home in the sleepiest manner one could ever have, and had my most peaceful sleep. The next day I could paint a smile in my face.

In here, I am expecting something else.

A bottle, chips and you as a beer bud.

We will survive, believe me.

And in my mind I can picture something like this after I handed in the answer sheet “That was fun!”

Combo

I drank my Vietnamese tea, served by my Vietnamese friend. It tasted a bit bitter in my tongue but it was soothing. We have chips as a companion but I was not into something spicy. His room, up in the 9th floor, for sure has a very nice view. Beautiful. We stood next to each other, by the window and look out side. It was dark, and this city is not that lively, so there is nothing much to see. He dreamt about escaping to the capital and I just smiled. I’m not into big city, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than being here. Well, the white sandy beach is preferably but I’ve dreamt to be here for so long, so I guess I really shouldn’t complain. I looked for the moon but he said it is on the other side of the city, so we could not see it.
Next time it will be tea and the sun. It’s a combo. A killer combination.
But then I could not think about anything. But you.

Coffee Survival

So, after 2 I closed down some tabs on my firefox. An hour ago, I had a very late evening tea with a friend from Syria. Two hours ago I tried to play some song on the piano. 6 hours ago, I was in Germany.

My windows media player is playing all the Carpenter hits and some songs from Five for Fighting. If the song is not too loud, I can hear the noise from the wind which is blowing outside. Gees, it must be crazy freezing cold out there.

I am curling under my ivory white duvet and then grabbing Doraemon by the hand. I promised my self to get some sleep after this. I prefer tea other than coffee is simply because I want to get some sleep whenever I intend to.

It is exactly what happened back in Banda Aceh. In the small city, the key of survival is how you manage to get through the weekend without the killer boredom feeling. One good thing is, Banda Aceh has this strong thick black coffee that magically puts me to sleep easily.

After the Dance

It seems that the universe stopped evolving, and we were the one who spin. After one bottle I started to join the crowd. Tajakistan guy was pushing me to the inner circle and there, I tried to move my body. Indian song was in the air, and Ganesh danced in front of me with his Nepal style. I copy cat him, and one of his friends patted me on the shoulder “You are really good.” We also had fun with Ethiopian song and Uganda music, and one of the senior ladies taught me how hard it is to do African dance. The DJ played my favorite dance hits, Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira and I could not stand still any longer. “Oh baby, when you talked like that, you make the woman go mad!” accompanied by Thai guy, my fellow from home country, Nepal girl and I don’t care about the others because I feel this adrenaline rushed in my blood. Time for latino musica, Rodrigo took me by the hand and spin me around and around and around while I did a wanna be salsa dance. It seems the world stopped moving and it was only me who was busy and contented revolving.

Life might not be the party we always want, but since we’re here, we should dance.

- Quotes I’ve read from Scrapbooks stickers.

Open Hands

Tomorrow will be full entire two weeks that I’ve been in this city. Many things happened, but still I considered days gone by quite slowly here. Other than adjusting with new climate (that’s the hardest thing for me), new system, and new people, mostly I spent times sleeping or else, cooking. Once, I came to a best friend’s room, and we were tuning to youtube and sang along with all our hearts. To our surprise, there are some of karaoke videos in youtube, so the absent of happy puppy could be eliminated a little.

I came here with in group of more than 10 persons. The number has been added up until now. That is quite a lot, in my opinion. A friend said, that I don’t have to worry about homesick. Well, why should I feel homesick, if I carry a home whenever I go? The thing is, I didn’t expect that the problem could arise between us, the people who comes from same land. Are we look alike? Or are we just a personal self with solitude mind? Do you expect your neighbor like the music you play loud everyday? Or do you adjust with the odd time his alarm clock starts ticking?

The temperature has been starting to drop, bit by bit, and I’m still wishing the sun to come out. Yeah, some might say, in your dreams, but you can not stand against my faith. Although, it is scientifically proven that autumn is making its way to this town. But hey it is me, the girl who likes to be drawn in her own thought. So, tonight, let me dream away that we will be just fine here and the temperature will be friendly for our tropical body and mind.

The key of survival is accepting the condition
- my own wise-ass wisdom

Smile! You're on Sax TV!

My 15 minutes of fam.
Enjoy.

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Black and white and everything in between

I try so hard not to judge and not to see things black and white.

Because, I don’t always believe black is the bad side and white is the good side. If I stay too long in one place, then everything become either pitch black, or cleanly white. Sometimes there is something in between, but not too much.

Moving out, or in, challenge me to counter everything in my head, because then I meet various people and face lots of choices.

Does it make me see things in grey shade? Or sephia?

No, it becomes colorful.

Picnic in the Park

We're gonna have a picnic in the park.
You, and me, and all the people we love.
We're gonna have ginger ale or temulawak or anything you like.
I will walk on the sidewalk and you will hold my hand.
We're gonna stop by the ice cream parlor and taste the rum raisin flavor.
You will see a decent house and dream we are the oma opa who had the tea.
I stop by at the window of pizza restaurant and pretend we order margerita.
You stop as well, and steal a kiss.

And this is what I mean about I like to dream big.

The Space Between Us

It was 5 o’clock in the morning and I have already waken up. I laid on the bed with the white sheet on it. Too dark to open the window and the silence was ticking bold.
I hold my breath and gazed at the room I am in.
It was not that hard, I have done this before. But still, there was this uncontrollable feeling I have in my chest.
Do I miss home? Do I really want to be here today?
I have made two modular origami and placed them on the window sill. By the time I looked at them I realized, that I am totally alone in this universe. But not exactly lonely, I believe my self will take care of me while I stepped my feet again.
So, I convinced my self, once again, that this is the right path I am in. Are you with me?

The Beginning

So, I decided to record eveything in this page. Just wish me luck that I can push my self hard enough to write amongst all the activities I have in here. More ever, wish me luck that I have enough activities to note down.